Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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