i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize