whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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