I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Randomize
