I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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