I want to walk on stilts...naked
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
