dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
