This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
