I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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