I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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