winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Randomize
