"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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