im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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