think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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