Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize