Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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