he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize