mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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