I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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