perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Drunk is not a location!
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
