i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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