some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Farmville is her only friend.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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