I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
