I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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