my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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