covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize