1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
