I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
whose ass print is on the piano?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
