u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
