D3 body, D1 cock
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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