I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
