let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
