You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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