Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
