I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
