I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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