I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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