I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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