Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
