Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
