it's too hot outside to masturbate.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Randomize