conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
