community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
