I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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