she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize