I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize