Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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