fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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