talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
