things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
