why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Randomize
