Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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