you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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