Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
