giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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