I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
