Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
