Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
