He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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