That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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