just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
