This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Where is the hickey?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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