She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
