Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
you made out with another girl for some wings
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
