I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
